Never Teach the Bunny Hop in Slovakia

We have just completed finals at school, serious testing for all eight grades with the senior school having more testing spread over three weeks time. The main schedule has been altered as it often is to accomodate the exams. For me this means I might proctor an exam as I did earlier this week, see a class back to back so they can get their allotted PE classes in, or even stranger have a class come two times in the same day, morning and afternoon. The atmosphere was quite tense here for the entire school community: students studying and sitting for exams, teachers preparing, grading and recording grades. It's similar to Lab, lots of pressure, anxiety, and sick kids. (I just re-counted: My excuses number over 90!)

In an effort to lighten things up a bit I decided to teach a rhythms lesson, by first teaching the Bunny Hop (easily done) and then explaining that I wanted them to make up their OWN dance (bit more complicated) with some of the same characteristics, so it must be 16 counts, everyone doing the same thing at the same time, using repeatable steps. Using my trusty dry erase board, I explained this to the class, having them work in small groups in order to demonstrate and later teach their combination to the whole class. Understand? Yes, they enthusiastically shouted! Good, I'll go turn on the music. Started the selection, turned around to see their smiling, eager faces...and the whole class lined up Bunny Hop style ready to give it another go!

NO, I laughed, hauling out the dry erase board again. After some ten lessons in Slovak I can actually count, so I thought I was making myself clear about the 16-count length. We discussed the word "repeat" and "same" and thought we were finally all on the same page. Cue the music. Raz, dra, tri, styri... NOW we're cookin'... wait one group has formed alternating lines and another group is kicking OVER their partners heads. Partners?! Who said you could have partners?!

There was a hip hop group and a salsa group. A duo of non-dancers did a sort of marching, slaphands version."Do you speak English?!" I found myself saying sharply to one attitude-challenged student who was blatantly and consistently NOT EVER following directions. Yes, she blankly replied, my dripping sarcasm lost in translation. Or maybe she understood and it was just 8th grade attitude. I have my suspicions.

After repeatedly intervening and pointing out that some dances were 64 counts, while others had no beat awareness and didn't even know how long they were dancing, etc., etc. I backed off and watched the show. Expecting that this should take 10 minutes max, I was surprised when the first class barely finished the challenge in the 45 minute period, mainly because they had created and changed about 12 dances in that time period. Quite prolific but unable to agree on a final product.

I had dances with pretend fighting, but then a conciliatory shake hands ending. Latin is huge here so the gym really heated up when some girls tried to incorporate their dancing steps that they learned in their "training" as they call it. LOTS of big production ending, never mind that there was to be none, because what fun was that? The Primas were into gymnastics, going by the theory if you don't dance you can always tumble, I guess. So we had girls circling 'round their headstand-holding headstander. Another group did crossing cartwheels. All different, exciting and so...wrong!!!

But as Pete Miller, our PE Department Chair at Lab said when I tried to explain my dance lesson gone awry, "That actually sounds like about most dance classes I have taught at Lab. It's all good." And of course it was. Students were engaged, cooperating, practicing and having fun. And maybe the music teacher can address beat awareness and repetition...in Slovak. Choose your battles.

Grades are now completed, all of us working on computers designated to certain classes. PE doesn't assign grades but I did need to write about each student, with the exception of my swim classes. I was limited to 80 characters for my 100 students and found it frustratingly difficult to be so hamstrung. My principal read my comments, and changed three reports which really surprised me. I had included mile run times in two reports because I had mentioned fitness and thought they were exceptionally good times. In another I had mentioned a girl by her first name. Saying that it wasn't exactly wrong, it just wasn't the uniform way things were done here, she deleted those parts.

During the course of last week I noticed students names accumulating up on the public notice board in the teacher room, which is open to all students and doubles as the general office.These students were to be discussed at the upcoming classification meeting regarding marks in behavior. The system is such: All student in Slovakia receive number grades for academic subjects and behavior, 1-5, 1 being the best.

At our school when a teacher feels there is a student with behavior issues, that name with supporting documentation goes up on the board. Each class takes the information back and discusses it, chaired by one student representative. The class determines an opinion. At the meeting, all these students reps (9 in Junior School, 8 in Senior School) convene together with its own faculty to discuss these students, nine individuals this past semester. The students themselves may attend but often do not. Our principal insisted one boy attend, however, because she was going to recommend expulsion - something about acid in biology class - didn't sound good. Eight were boys (surprise!) and the one girl was someone I teach, a goth-dressing student who among other issues, didn't want to do PE. I did not attend these meetings as they are in Slovak. The meetings lasted a few hours, students and faculty discussing the "designated ones", with the result being that everyone basically got warned in a public forum by a concensus of their peers and faculty.

So that's finished, reports have been distributed. Many teachers have received flowers, as is tradition. The whole country (finally) had a holiday Friday to mark the semester. Many schools have balls to mark the occasion, and now start the ski trips! Our 4th years called Qvartas (8th graders) are leaving today for one week in the mountains. Two other levels are also scheduled to go during the following 2 weeks. Some of the PE teachers who are also certified ski instructors have quite the gig, usually going for at least 2 of the 3 weeks. I, however, not being certified, remain at school substituting for their classes. Bummer.

But tomorrow I leave for my Fulbright Mid Winter Conference in Trencinske Teplice, a spa town located in the Lower Tatras a few hours north of here. Spa towns are all over Slovakia, but not your American brand at all. All have natural springs, but traditionally, are considered healing places. They tend to be medicinal and antiseptic, have doctor-like people walking around. You go to get "prescription" written out for your ailments before you go for treatments, and up until recently, state health care paid for up to a three-week stay at these places. Many are trying to upgrade and get competitive with the surrounding areas. But still for many Germans, Russians and of course natives, the spas in Slovakia are the places to go. I'll let you know.

So I board the bus tomorrow, making sure to wear my Bears hat. It remains to be seen as to how or if we can watch the Superbowl on Sunday where the Colts are for sure in for a whooping! I think it's on at midnight but I'm not certain. Besides the Superbowl on the unofficial agenda, we will all make presentations explaining our Fulbright experience. There will be an assortment of people from both the Czech Republic and Slovakia, only 6 of whom are exchange teachers like I. We number about 30 and will present over 3 days sharing our unique experiences. I have completed my presentation but am re-thinking it. Maybe I should teach the Bunny Hop in Slovak for a reverse cultural opportunity. Raz, dra, tri, styri...

Oh, My Achin' Back...

Unlock your door. Twist open a bottle of water. Pull a banana off a bunch. Do you ever think of these mundane maneavers as efforts involving back muscles?! I sure didn't used to but, having had some painful back issues this week, I do now! And as a physical educator I know this, but still take these activities for granted. Not so anymore.

How this happened I'm not sure but my theory is connected with my trip home. I had 2 backbacks and 2 large suitcases with me, and although I checked the suitcases, I had the backpacks with me on my Chicago-Warsaw-Vienna flight. I slept awkwardly on three seats on the main flight, and probably had some extra baggage in the form of stress to bring back with me as well. Some days later I woke up with a pain in the side of my back that felt like someone had punched me repeatedly in the right shoulder blade.

Knowing better about rest but having none of it, I couldn't resist an invitation from Erika to join her in going to Sopron, Hungary for our last Saturday before returning to classes. Christian had recommended rotating a tennis ball against my back on the wall to knead out the tightness so I put one in my backpack and used in during the train rides. We did some shopping, saw some sights, and back to BA for dinner with Chuck and Susan, Kathy and her daughter, Kate and husband Harsh, who were due to return to the states soon. By the time I got home I was sore and tired and thinking what I most needed was a good night's sleep, went to bed.

During the night I was awakened by incredible pain from muscle spasms in my back. I sleep in a loft, so I initiated what felt like about an hour effort to get out of bed and go down the stairs. I could barely move an inch and decided, this is it, I'll die up here and no one will know! I managed to get down and up, though, and fell back asleep. The next morning I had scheduled a Thai massage, recommended by Nora and Viera of the Fulbright office. Thai massage is dry (no oil), performed on a platform which is on the floor. My masseuse was very small and used her whole body as a lever. It included her stretching me and at one point she was crawling on my back on her hands and knees. I thought I felt better afterward but should have realized that was too extreme of a massage to have with a tight back.

That evening went from bad to worse, and again involved one of those middle of the night episodes. By now the pain had grown in intensity and seemed to cover the whole right side of my back. When I moved on the stairs I adjusted my body to accomodate the pain on the right side. So what worked "best" was to drop my right shoulder down and hang my arm, sort of lifeless and ape-like down to my knee. In this simean posture I went down to look for a banana in the kitchen. Just kidding about the banana, and kidding about kidding; there was really nothing funny about this.

So now after managing to NOT recover my back and in fact making things significantly worse, I tried to go to school on Monday. After having taught from a chair for one hour in the gym I recognized I really needed to go home. I was in touch with Fulbright-Nora again, who this time recommended THE PATCH, an amazing analgesic, anti-inflammatory adhesive gel-patch applied right to the back. The patch was easy, fast-working, and I'm quite certain unavailable over-the-counter in the states. I stayed home Tuesday and returned to school Wednesday, feeling comfortable and happy. No, more than happy. Buzzed! Sadly, I don't think anyone even noticed, but after that night I decided I better go PATCH-FREE! Yes, folks, I'm patchless now and proud of it, and have been given a wake-up call to take care of myself. (Later that week I tried to give Zuzka some aspirin tablets because she had supplied me with some earlier. She threw up her hands, palms facing me, "NO! It is bad luck to return medicine, then I'll get sick." She meant it, too.

Slovaks are a very nurturing society. It is not unusual for children to miss 3-5 days of schools due to illness, and then remain out of P.E. for another week because they had been sick the week before. I just counted my written excuses collected so far - over 70 not counting those I didn't save from the first 3 weeks of school. Also many of these notes are for one to two weeks out of activity. Most excuses come to me in Slovak; I now have the girls re-write them in English. many, however are written in English and I have included a few favorites:

Some are achingly polite: Please, take in your consideration that my daughter doesn't feel the best today and feels like not to practice today at your lesson.

or chipper: Hello Joan! I have an infection on my toe and I can't do anything.

formal: Dear Professor, Please excuse my daughter. She won't train. She catch a cold.

REALLY formal: Justification - I would like to excuse my daughter from today's gymnastic lesson because she still has difficulty breathing.

retroactive: Excuse me, my daughter didn't train on the last lesson beacuse she was sick.

accident victim: Please apologize my daughter in your lessons for this week in cause of striking her wrist. She's fallen from in-line skates. Thank you very much.

and the dental patient: Please excuse my daughter. She cannot exercise because of wound for yank tooth which is not closed.

(You will notice that parents write about training, exercising and gymnastics, which is how "participation" is translated over here. A CLASS is a group of students but a LESSON is the period of time they are in a certain subject, like the 4th lesson of the day. Teachers days are described by how many lessons they teach per week. Amounts vary; the more you teach the more money you get.)

Some of our teachers have also missed multiple days of work so it's not just an issue with the children. Health care is subsidized; people often visit doctors, who are actually poorly paid. Those returning to work can then subsantiate their absence with a doctor's note. Americans, on the other hand, often tough it out, bringing our contagions to both work and school; somewhere there has to be a reasonable compromise for good health. But all I know for sure is that Slovak pharmacy is the bomb!

Couldn't Make This Up

Holidays are behind us, and inspite of some temporarily lost luggage courtesy of LOT Polish Airlines, all went well. (Yes, there really is a Polish Airlines.) I got a kick out of the applause upon landing in Chicago, as in "Thank God, we're on the ground!" But the same thing happened on the way back. (Oh my God, he did it...again!) Zuzka laughed when I told her this and said, "We clap in Central Europe."

We once again started our Christmas holiday celebration with a fondue party on the 23rd, followed by Christmas Eve at home, and Christmas day at our cousin's place. My children all made it to Chicago, and it was fun to see all the relatives, and catch up with friends later in the week.

Presents made it over and PE equipment made it back. The PERFECT GIFT was a hit, (a hand carved walking stick with a duck's head for the handle grip) and in no time the duck was talking, swearing and I think maybe drinking! No one knew what to do with medovino, the amber colored honey wine - drink it or use it for a cleaner. I tried to refrain from giving gifts that got me all excited to "tell the story" but would make the recipient go, "Oh...wow?" I think if a lot of explanation is necessary, it probably isn't the best gift. So there is a touch of Slovakia in Chicago now ...and Amazon.com...and Target.com...and

Speaking of Target, that was one of the first stores I went to in Chicago. The cashier said, "Hi, how are you?" and I almost fainted. When she put my items in a sturdy bag for me, I wanted to kiss her feet! I almost felt like we should have exchanged Xmas cards after that.

Had lunch with Christian and Ian in Lemont one day and commented that I could really go for a burger, which is what I ordered. After lunch, Christian said he didn't want to say anything during the meal - maybe I was anemic the way I inhaled my food. Slovaks don't serve beef; we are a pig country. I hadn't eaten a burger in four months and it was GREAT!

Leading up to the holidays, I heard and read about some customs that made me think, I COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP! Some sound similar to what you may have already heard of, like the Slovak version of St. Nicholas is Sv. Mikulas (say Mikulash) but with a twist. Children put out their shoes and go to bed waiting for a visit. Some parents arrange to have Sv. Mik visit and he is always accompanied by a devil and an angel. The children are sometimes made to sing or somehow perform and the usual questions of "Have you been good?" ensue, because if not, then the devil will deal with you! Parents who haven't organized a visit for their children, sneak in while they are asleep and paint the naughtly one's cheeks black with coal to prove that in fact, the devil had been there. Sounds terrifying.

Then there are witches, who wear white, by the way. Hasn't anyone seen the Wizard of Oz for God's sake? The folklore of the witches is tied up with the Winter Solstice, attracting prosperity while warding off the dark forces. Since it was thought that witches drew their strength from the increasingly long night hours, Witches Days rituals were invented to protect against supernatural powers, and also somehow helped predict the weather, well before doppler mind you. It all starts on St. Katarina's Day, NOV 25th. Be sure to eat and hang garlic so it will snow on Christmas. On St. Ondrey's Day, NOV 30th bake a pie but don't forget to write names of suitors on papers. Put the papers in the pie; bake the pie in boiling water. The name that rises first - BINGO - he's who you'll marry. You've got to love the props used on St. Barbora's Day, DEC 4th, but first dress in white sheets and dust your face with flour. Get yourself a goose's wing to help sweep away negative energy, or cut a stick from a cherry tree; put it in water. If it flowers by Xmas, you'll marry within a year. St. Lucia was thought to be the most powerful of the witches, and Witches Days end on her day, DEC 13. Haul out the garlic and goose's wing again and hope for the best! Actually I was walking through the Old Town on my way home from school on DEC 13th, when I came across a band of witches, all about age 10, apparently on a school-sponsored field trip. They weren't scary, and except for one renegade were all in white - not quite like Glynda, more like Caspar the Friendly Ghost. Finally, the twelve days between then until Xmas are said to predict the weather for the following year, each day correlating to one month. (And who among us isn't thinking, probably just as good as any weather reporter?)

Because we had a short vacation this year, I was permitted to leave two days early to allow for travel. On Friday, the last day of class, students had two hours of gift exchanges and parties so I had no classes that day anyway. I was sad, however, to have missed the Kapustnica (say ka-poosht-neet-sa) on Thursday. Our school has a tradition of having a faculty get-together the last Thursday night before holiday. Cabbage soup is served, just as it is in most homes on Christmas Eve. The teachers do a gift exchange and I heard the soup was great and the party fun.

I've had cabbage soup before and I love it. Made with sauerkraut, mushrooms and smoked meat, it is delicious served before the traditional entree - carp. Christmas Eve day is a day to eat lightly; some even fast until the meal. Wafers with honey (oplatki) are served with chestnuts, along with crusty bread. But Christmas Eve carp is the last story I'll tell, not the eating part but rather the preparation bit. First of all, the fish is usually purchased live. I saw large bins holding the enormous fish outside the grocery stores. Pick out your fish and bring it home. Or pick out your fish and have the fish monger bash it over the head with a hammer to kill it. If you've taken it home live, put it in the bath tub, where it becomes quite a novelty for any small children in the house. Just when it has about taken on pet status, grab the hammer and you know the drill.

Having missed Christmas in Slovakia, I at least got to be here for New Year's Eve, known as Silvester's Day. The Slovak calendar has names days and at one time, it was required that you be named from the calendar. Even now there are many of my students with the same first names, VERY different from Lab, where among others we have Droffil-C, a girl named after her Dad - Clifford, spelled backwards! Your name's day is significant, similar to a birthday but not quite that important.

Zuzka and I took a (for me anyway) very jet-lagged walk through the Old Town. We stopped for some hot chocolate, the kind where your spoon stands up. We both tried Mexican, had chilis in it and was delicious. The concert on the square was just beginning its series of acts and we stayed for the first set. Shining on the buildings of the square were spotlights that said Welcome to Partyslava (in English). It was cold and damp and the DJ had a down parka and knit cap with ear flaps on which he didn't remove when he did his Elvis impersonation. The next set featured one of Zuzka's former students, but soon we decided it was time to leave. I could hear the din from my flat when I got home later and thirty minutes of fireworks at midnight. Happy 2007!